The Color of Jealousy
by exclusivestreetflow
Summary: Kei deals with his jealousy while Hikari finally realizes her feelings. A bit heavy. Emphasis on Kei's perspective from an omniscient narrator. One Shot.


After Kei's confession to Hikari at Sakura's villa.

_As I thought, my confession was disliked. Well at least I said it like a man. _Kei kept furrowing his eyebrows, wearing a solemn expression of deep conflict. "Whats wrong with Kei?" Jun looked up from Ryuu's lap and asked. "I don't know, but I feel like it wouldn't be a good idea to talk to him right now," Ryuu answered smiling down gently at Jun and patting his head. Suddenly a loud noise came and a large gust of wind whipped their faces. "Keiiiii! I've come to take you with me to the London session. I need you! Everything always goes so much smoother when you're there. I know you'll understand later!" Kei's baby- faced father's voice came yelling from a speakerphone on an approaching helicopter. Suddenly ten highly professional combat men climbed down a rope hanging from the helicopter, grabbed Kei, and tied up his hands and feet before he had time to resist. They then proceeded to climb back up the rope and disappeared back into the helicopter carrying Kei like a package. Everything happened in a matter of seconds. Hikari looked up at the disappearing helicopter and wondered out loud, "wha-what was that?"

Kei looked up at the ceiling in his hotel suite lying down in bed deep in thought. It was now after mid-night, he had transferred from the helicopter to the Takishima private plane at the airport, and after reluctantly agreeing to his hopeless father to attend the session had went through a rigorous series of other meetings before finally excusing himself to sleep for the night. Now that he was alone, naturally, all his thoughts were of Hikari. _I swear I am going to kill someone one day. I didn't even get to hear Hikari's _answe_r. Will she run away from me now? No… Hikari is the type to confront everything head on. _A soft smile formed on his lips._ I finally said it, I hope I didn't make her_ _uncomfortable. _He let out a deep sigh. _To this day, all I want is to be loved by her._.. Kei stared at the ceiling in thought as sleep slowly came to him. _God._..I've_ never been selfish. I've never asked for anything. In all my life this is my one and only selfish request, please...let me have Hikari. _His thoughts trailed and became increasingly jumbled until he finally fell asleep dreaming of the day Hikari fell in love with him as well. That what she was looking for all this time, without realizing it, had been here the whole time.

The next day as Kei made his way to the greenhouse in the morning, his beloved Hikari stood waiting for him looking especially beautiful in the sun. "C-can we talk Takishima?" she asked nervously fidgeting with her fingers. "Sure, Hikari. Is it about my confession yesterday?" Kei asked calmly. "Er...yes..Takishima, I was so surprised! Actually, the truth is I don't think I have those types of feelings for you at all. I can't even imagine doing those types of things with you! There's no way I can do that!" Hikari rambled on blushing a deeper shade of red as she continued. Kei let go of the breath he had unconsciously been holding and smiled down gently at Hikari with warm eyes. Delicately grabbing her shoulders he said, "Hikari, it's okay. Calm down. You don't have to over strain yourself. Didn't I always say it?" Kei in truth wasn't surprised; due to several reasons he had now become a man who didn't expect anything from her. Hikari looked up at Kei still a little worried and continued, "I want you to know that I really like you Takishima, you're my very important friend. I can't do these things with you because it's weird. You're my rival!" Kei said reassuringly with somewhat distant eyes,"I'm relieved that you don't dislike me Hikari. For me…for now its enough if we are just friends." He then grabbed a strand of Hikari's beautiful long hair and kissed it. Focusing his eyes on Hikari he said with a small smirk and an air of arrogance, "please don't worry about my confession Miss second place_,_ it was only a joke to make you admit defeat." _This way Hikari won't feel uncomfortable around me. _"WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Stop treating me like a fool!" Hikari snapped in anger, not the least bit conscious now. Kei laughed in a teasing manner and asked, "was there anything else, miss two?" Hikari replied, "DON'T CALL ME THAT!" and then after a pause "and oh yea I almost forgot to tell you the student council president confessed to me yesterday when you were gone and since I don't know anything about love, I said yes to learn. I'll try it out. Hahaha I won't lose to you who knows more! Well..see you later Takishima, got to get to class!" Hikari waved and started to run towards the direction of the school building.

Kei froze, his entire world had stopped. _What did she just say? What did she just say? WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?_ The same line of thought kept looping in Kei's mind. Then he suddenly began running after Hikari like a madman, he caught up with her in less time than humanly possible and grabbed her arm. Hikari turned around surprised, "Ow..what is it Takishima? I'm going to be late!" "Hikari, is it true what you said just now about going out with the student council president?" Kei asked with immense pressure looking almost frightened, in spite of focusing his energy on appearing calm to not startle Hikari. "Ah..about that yes" she answered. After seeing Kei's deadly expression she continued, "what is it, you don't like him? Don't worry about this matter Takishima, he is a good person!" Hikari smiled and patted Kei's shoulder reassuringly as if dismissing the matter. _What's with that? I cannot believe what I am hearing._ Kei felt his perfectly calm composure slipping, something only Hikari alone in this world could do, "YOU IDIOT! I don't care if he is! That's not the point!" Hikari saw Kei's characteristic deadly aura fuming out and she grew scared stiff. "Taki-takishima..you're really scaring me" Hikari murmured. Kei was already regretting losing control and scaring Hikari, he released Hikari's arm. "So…are you okay with doing stuff with him, that you won't do with me?" he asked silently with such seriousness and intensity that it unnerved Hikari. "Wha-what are you saying? Don't say these things…its embarrassing" Hikari said looking down and averting Kei's eye. Kei couldn't take it anymore; he wanted to touch her, to hold her, to declare she was his to the world. Instead he looked down at her patiently and stated, "Hikari…you didn't answer me." "Takishima…yes, I guess you could say that" finally came the reply from Hikari who was now red as a tomato. There was silence for what seemed like ages. Hikari broke the silence first, "d-don't worry Takishima I will find a girl you like too if you're so worried! Ahaha I see, is it you don't want to be left behind? Just leave it to me!" she said encouragingly trying to release the tension and bring the normal Takishima back. Ignoring his irritation with her extreme misunderstanding he finally asked in deadly silence, "Hikari…is the reason you will go out with the loser president and not me...is it because I am your rival? In other words, if I wasn't your rival, would you be my lover?" Hikari's eyes began to water, "what are you saying Takishima? You will always be my rival! E-even if you don't want to…I will always see you as my rival!" Looking at the tears dripping down from Hikari's face Kei felt like the most worthless man in the world, he felt his heart shredding to pieces. "Hikari…I don't want to be your rival anymore" he said with an absolute zero look and walked away.

_Geez...A man such as me... made Hikari become afraid. A man such as me made Hikari cry. I am such a child... loving Hikari is who I am from the start. I need to find a way to get back home to my heart. _Kei was in the library with his head down, elbows resting on the table and both hands on his forehead; a storming headache now brewing at the recess of his mind from the conflicting thoughts constantly churning around in his head about Hikari. Kei thought he could endure being Hikari's friend as long as she was always with him by his side. But the thought of her with another man was unbearable. He knew his way of thinking was wrong, but even still he could not help it. Moreover, he had even hurt Hikari. Just then Hikari and the student council president walked in and sat beside a table a few rows from where Kei was seated; they had not noticed Kei as he was partially hidden by the other tables in their line of sight. "So this is a more private place..let's do something more couple like. Don't you want to try it Hikari-chan?" the student council president said leaning closer to Hikari. Kei was clenching his fist, anger almost overpowering his control. "Hajime-kun, what should we do? Exchange diaries?" Hikari asked enthusiastically. "Can I kiss you Hikari-chan? Don't you want to learn about love to not lose to Kei-kun?" the student council president pressed inching even closer to Hikari. Kei's knuckles had turned completely white from how hard he was clenching his fist, deep marks carved into the skin of his palm from his fingernails. Hikari started backing away unsure, but the president grabbed her, his arm spanning the length of her back, and forcibly pressed his lips on hers for what seemed like forever to Kei.

Kei felt like he was losing his mind. He felt like he just lost a part of himself, that it had been ripped out of his chest. Although he knew he shouldn't get his hopes up, he always saw Hikari as his, his wife, his lover, his other half…even if she didn't realize it. He always had thought if he was patient she would come to realize it eventually. But seeing this, the image of Hikari kissing another man being forever captured into his photographic memory, it was too much.._.I can't even stop it since I have no right_ he realized. He felt something wet drop onto his lap, and then another and another and another. They were tears of grief. Kei who had never let out so much as a single tear in his life, to such a man who had only heard of the phenomenon of crying since nothing had ever been able to move his heart enough, to such an extreme point. Needless to say he was surprised_…Are those tears? I see, my body is reacting to my grief, so this is how it is. _Even in his miserly condition he managed to make a personal note. Seeing Hikari...even the thought of Hikari doing these things with another man broke his heart. After all, in the good ways and the bad ways only Hikari could move his heart. _…I can't look at this..I just can't. I need to get away. _Kei suddenly got up and stormed out of the room, he couldn't witness this silently after all. He left the building slamming the door behind him and alerting Hikari and Hajime of his presence.

Kei heard footsteps behind him . The student council president was running after him panting and out of breath from the exertion, "Kei! Wait up, I want to talk to you!" he cried. "I'm not in the mood to talk to you... But in this case I have one thing to say, if you hurt Hikari in anyway I will make your world come apart. I will burn it to the ground mercilessly" Kei promised dismissively looking back at the president with cold eyes and an otherwise completely lifeless expression. The president flinched back in pure dread and barely managed to utter while trying to catch his breath, "I-I just wanted to say, that I hope you're not mad I am with Hikari-chan. It's just I really like her, it's okay with you right?" Kei just kept walking; he had no intention of talking with the idiotic loser president. _He is probably making sure I will not do something to his family business._ "So we're cool? Thanks for understanding. By the way I am sorry you saw that just now, I didn't know you were there... But my I must say Hikari-chan is a really good kisser. I can't wait to do other things with her" the president said gleefully thinking no doubt perverted thoughts and beaming at himself sheepishly. Kei stopped dead in his tracks. Now Kei is a human being with feelings too. And every human being has their limit. Kei couldn't take it any longer; he couldn't fight it anymore. He couldn't suppress his rage and his fury which pulsed throughout his body like a violent storm. He was infuriated, deafened by his anger beyond reason, and now he turned around and walked straight towards the student council president and punched him square in the jaw sending him flying down hard onto the concrete floor. Kei got on top of the president and began beating his face bloody. "DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT HIKARI! AND YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS HER IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! YOUR A HINDRANCE! DON'T GO NEAR HER!" Kei screamed with outrage. He was a demon, punches rained down on the presidents entire body. The presidents face was beaten to a pulp, numerous ribs were broken, and he had already blacked out but Kei's fury was inexorable. "AND HOW DARE YOU KISS HER?! HOW DARE YOU HAVE THESE DISGUSTING THOUGHTS OF HER?!... I WILL FUCKIN KILL YOU!" Somewhere in Kei's mind he realized that if he continued this the president would surely die, but he didn't care, rage had consumed him to the point where he was actually happy by the outcome.

"STOP IT TAKISHIMA!" Hikari yelled, grabbing his arm, her face streaming with tears. He felt her touch. _H-hikari? When did she get here? _He looked at Hikari's tear-stricken face and his heart wrenched as if being squeezed. He focused on her lips. _Those lips…the bastard kissed those lips._ Anger arose once more. Kei stopped completely, motionless on top of the president. He thought about walking away, but instead let out a deep breath, got up, and went over to her. He pinned her against a tree, cupped her face, and kissed her thirstily and deeply with passion. His lips locked with hers and for the first time in his life he ignored all her protests. He felt himself effortlessly overpower her shoves. Almost ten long years he had patiently suppressed his raging feelings for her and now he groaned into her mouth longingly with gratification. With unrestrained hunger he began to explore her mouth once again in urgent need desperately trying to will her to kiss him back, his hands reaching down beneath her clothes and travelling to other unexplored parts of her flawless body. Immense pleasure overtook him. He felt like he could fly. _More..More..More. __I must erase all signs of him. Oh Hikari..how I have longed to kiss you. To touch you like this... I just need you now._" "ST-STOP IT TAKISHIMA!" Hikari screamed really and fully crying now. Finally realizing Hikari's condition Kei forcibly calmed himself from his heated state. _Hikari is crying. I need to stop...I am molesting her. If things keep going like this...I will do something unforgivable to Hikari._ Kei turned slightly red having such indecent thoughts of Hikari from his arousal. _Right now I just want to...My intentions are completely dishonorable. _ _I can't do that! Not right now. Not like this... Thats right, I need to make Hikari my wife first. I thought I had...thought I had it under control._ He loved her so much. Kei fell to the ground with his hands on his forehead. Sense and reason finally began to return and rationalize him. He felt so ashamed of himself he couldn't bring himself to look at her. _I am the scum of the Earth. I forced myself on Hikari…no matter how much I wanted to, no matter what, I should never have done that.__..I can deal with everything else, but somehow when it comes to Hikari...That's right _its o_nly Hikari...only Hikari can make me feel like this. To give me headaches like this. To make me lose control... Why don't things ever work out between Hikari and I?_ Kei sighed. "Hikari...I am sorry, I seem to have lost control.. Please don't hate me" he begged hoarsely, his face downcast and defeated, etched painfully with regret. "Can I beg for your forgiveness?" he implored weakly. Hikari sat down on the ground beside him, "Takishima…its actually my fault, right? This happens because you like me, right?" Hikari asked tears still brimming down her cheeks. Kei instinctively grabbed Hikari's face and wiped away her tears lifting her face so she could look into his eyes. _Its just like Hikari to blame herself. _"Silly, how can it be your fault? It's all mine" he told her trying to ease her pain and ignoring his own. _That's right, I get sad, angry, irritated, or jealous all on my own because I love you. Its all my fault, I perfectly understand it…and yet why do I still cause you so much pain? "_I-I need to get Hajime-kun to the hospital" Hikari said getting up.

_I am... being stupid, right? Hikari is happy with the president, it will only hurt her if I continue being this way. I'm likely to understand it if I consider it that way. _Kei grabbed Hikari's hand as she got up, "Hikari…are you happy with the student council president?" Kei asked to confirm, his face completely inexpressible. Hikari thought about it and answered, "yea..I guess so." Kei's heart writhed in pain, he ignored it, and looked at Hikari with warm eyes and after a few seconds said earnestly with a finality as if coming to a conclusion, "than it doesn't matter. If your happy than nothing else matters. Your sad I'm not your rival anymore right? Than I'll be your rival again…I won't do anything that troubles Hikari anymore, that Hikari dislikes." _If Hikari is happy, than I won't let anything else interfere. Nevermind my petty emotions. __If I rationalize this through, it is vividly clear and simple._ Why_ do we fall? _He looked at the ground in thought._ It is so we can learn to pick ourselves back up. And why do we get back up?_ He looked endearingly at Hikari. _It__ is because we are protecting something, something that is everything to_ us. To Kei, Hikari was everything, and that is why he was able to do this. It was a pure and beautiful act of undeniable selflessness, and years later Hikari would love him for it. With that Kei got himself back up and silently walked away.

The rest of the day went by to Kei in a blur, he went into a robotic trance in which he did tasks most efficiently and without the burden of any personally attached feelings. When he finally arrived home at night after perfectly smoothing over all inconsistencies at the Takishima business, his father asked him with concern, worried seeing his bitter melancholic expression instead of his usual expression of indifference, "what's wrong Kei? Why are you upset, why aren't you happy?" _Whats wrong? How can I even begin to tell you how painful it is when she is not by my side._ _How can I possibly be happy if she is not there. _But he answered impassively, "nothing. Please excuse me I am going to bed." Morning came and Kei got up, letting out a sigh. He didn't want to go to Hakusenken, he didn't want to see his beloved Hikari with that loser. Really, there was no reason for him to go anymore since Hikari was with someone else. It was painful for him to even think about it. He only went to Hakusenken for her anyway. _But…if I don't go, it will upset Hikari. She won't be able to challenge me to the matches she loves so much. _No matter what she did, Kei's mind couldn't hate Hikari. And with the one simple wish of seeing her smile he willingly got himself dressed and ready for another painful day.

As Kei walked towards the greenhouse, he observed the suspicious behavior of a group of girls hidden behind the shrubs. "Gather courage. You can do this..now Rin!" one of the girls said and pushed another girl forward just in time to intercept Kei. "T-Ta" the girl who was pushed forward stuttered. She gulped and continued, "Takishima-kun. I-I love you! I transferred to this school because I always admired you. Please go out with me" she said blushing hard with her head bent low. Kei just wanted to walk past her ignoring her confession, but he knew Hikari would reprimand him for it. _Its endless. Why don't they ever learn? Its never stops, this stupid useless thing...it really is useless. Hikari won't even get jealous from it. _The later thought frustrated him slightly since he had chased off countless men in jealously for Hikari. "Sorry, I can't respond to your feelings' he answered coldly, the same line he had employed a million times before. _  
_

Most of the day passed and Kei hadn't seen Hikari. This was a little unusual and despite his lack of expression Kei began to worry. _She is probably with the president. The sleazy president. Somewhere I don't know, doing things I don't know…No! Hikari! Come back here, come back here this instant! Come back to my side. I'm begging you...please, come home. _But of coarse he could not tell her these things. Kei got a lump in his throat. Irritated, he forcibly quieted his selfish thoughts. Just then Hikari came walking into the greenhouse, looked at Kei and meekly said, "good afternoon Takishima" sitting down next to him on the couch. The other SA members had gone out of the greenhouse for a picnic Akira had prepared, and which Kei had politely declined the invitation to. "Hikari" Kei smiled with a heavy heart. "You're a little late" he remarked casually. "Yea. I was at the hospital with Hajime-kun" Hikari said still a little hesitant. _With Hajime-kun…I hope that bastard is dead. I want him to vanish completely out of existence... No, Hikari wouldn't want me to think like this. I must make an effort for Hikari's sake. _"I see. I hope he will be alright?" Kei asked faintly smiling. "The doctors said he should make a full recovery in a few months" Hikari said with a smile. "A-anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something" Hikari continued now becoming red from a deep blush. "What is it, Hikari?" Kei asked confused as to why she would be blushing. "This is embarrassing, but I'll just go right out and say it. I love you Takishima. I didn't know. But ever since you kissed me yesterday it doesn't feel the same when I am with Hajime-kun. I think it is still true that I am happy with him since we have a lot of fun together...b-but I don't think its love. I am even happier with you and my heart beats really fast..and I don't know why but I get nervous and…" Hikari stopped talking now blushing so hard she was completely red.

Kei couldn't believe his ears. He collapsed onto the ground and covered his face with his hands, "are you serious? …Do you have any idea how happy I am right now?" he asked, overwhelmed with pure joy and looking away so Hikari wouldn't see his face. "I could die from it" he whispered barely audible. _I always thought it was one sided, that I would only cause trouble for Hikari. __How many times have I dreamed of this day? __Finally...finally she is mine. _Hikari sat down next to Kei, giggled, and lifted Kei's hand to her face. Kei's eyes widened and his heart began to pound loudly beneath his rib cage. Hikari then got up, pointed her index finger at Kei and said "Takishima, your still my rival, right? We haven't had a match for some time. I challenge you to a race around the greenhouse! This time I'll beat you for sure!" Hikari said enthusiastically wanting the normal relationship back between them as soon as possible. "I'll gladly accept your challenge anytime…but its impossible for second place to win" Kei said giving her a dazzling smile, a smile reserved in this world only for her. Hikari's heart fluttered, but she quickly recovered and yelled, "DON'T CALL ME THAT! Fine, lets have the loser obey one command of the winner!" she said determined, intending for him to call her first place if she won. "Fine by me" Kei said grinning since he already knew his command as well.

They raced around the greenhouse and as always Kei won, this time by a split second. "Alright then Hikari, you have to listen to my command" he said looking down at her with loving eyes. "B-bring it on! I won't back down!" Hikari replied a little nervous from the way Kei was looking at her. "I want you to say I am Takishima Kei's lover slowly three times into my ear" he whispered bending down to Hikari's ear and then giving Hikari a radiant smile. Hikari blushed hard, gulped to gather her courage, and then slowly walked over, tiptoed, and whispered into Kei's ear, "I am Takishima Kei's l-l-l-lover. I am Takishima Kei's l-lover…I am Takishima Kei's l-lover. Is that okay?" Kei was overjoyed, he beamed at his accomplishment as if he had just conquered the world. He could see Hikari was clearly embarrassed. _She is so cute. I want her now. I want to kiss her all over...every part of her. _But he needed to take things slowly for her sake, so exercising his patience as always, Kei embraced Hikari for a few seconds closing his eyes and just feeling her closeness which brought him peace like nothing else in the world could. He pulled away reluctantly and then bent down and kissed her lightly on the forehead. He told her slowly giving her a soft smile and then a smirk, "and I won't ever let you forget it...Miss second place." _A__s long as you love me Hikari...even a little bit, I never intend to let go. _"Ba-back up! Back up! AND WHAT DID YOU SAY? DON'T CALL ME SECOND PLACE!" Hikari yelled first embarrassed and then fluffing up in her usual protest of anger. Kei simply laughed and smiled down fondly at his beloved. _If_ _I'm always just with you ...I believe I'll be okay. If that's so, then I won't be irritated or make you scared, right?_

Later in the afternoon Kei made his way to the student council presidents hospital room. "Wha-what are you doing here?!" the president shouted in panic when he saw Kei approaching his bed. "I-I'm calling security!" he practically yelled trying hopelessly to sit himself up on the bed. "Nothing much, just taking back something that belongs to me" Kei said impassively, expressing a demeanor of utter superiority as he bent down and kissed the president on his swollen lips. He then got back up, turned around, and started walking away. Right before he exited the room he turned back and glared down at the president in warning burning the image of his threatening cold eyes into the presidents petrified ones forever as he said, "Hikari's everything belongs to me and me alone. Don't ever forget that and don't go near Hiakari again. If I ever see you try to pull something like that again I'd kill you and I'm not joking either. " _If I ever saw something like that again I probably would kill him. Is love madness? I already don't care anymore. __I need to remove him from Hikari's presence, I cannot allow Hikari's feelings to sway. _The president lay on the bed greatly shaken and irreversibly traumatized as Kei closed the door silently behind him and exited. That was the most he had ever heard Kei talk in all the years he had known him since elementary.

** please review.**


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